Anonymous

(I am pulling this post from my drafts – I wrote it last week or so and after re-reading it, feel like it’s fine to post)

A few posts ago I received a comment from anonymous (of course) which I felt was really rude. I have been posting pictures of Ezra, along with Ruth and Daniel, mainly for the benefit of my NJ family to see how he’s growing. Anonymous left this comment,

“I sure hope you have some black people in your church or that child is going to grow up not only feeling like the black sheep but being one. Shame on you for not traveling to that little boys place of birth!”

I like to look at my comments and I know all of you other bloggers like to look at yours. In fact, I know that if I were to go and comment on tons of blogs, I’d get more visitors and maybe more comments – this blog world is so reciprocal – and what a great way to get to know lots of people.

However, anonymous blindsided me with their comment. As soon as I saw it, my heart sank. I was sure that my real life friends might see it and be so offended that they would defend my honor and the honor of my church. After ten minutes, which seemed like long enough to wait for the cavalry, I began to type my response to anonymous.

I was trying to imagine who this anonymous was. I suspect she found my blog through a yahoo group and I know, thanks to sitemeter, that she hails from Falls Village, CT via comcast and receives google mail. She spent some time looking at the pictures of my beautiful son and I imagine she became angry. But why? Why would she (again, I am imagining our anonymous is a woman) feel so angry that she needed to leave such a harsh and judgemental comment? I don’t know her. I probably will never know her. I didn’t say in my post – “All of you who have a problem with our family, please comment now…” Although I know by not moderating comments, I open myself up to those types of comments – remember my Guns in Church comments? I am not afraid of criticism or correction – well not much anyway. But anonymous was not corrective and her criticism had less to do with me and more to do with her opinions.

So back to my response…I typed a bunch of stuff. And then I backspaced over it and kept coming up with a blank window. I didn’t really expect that anonymous would return to read a response. She said what she wanted and moved on to other places to comment anonymously. My sister-in-law called me that night to say how upset she was by the comment *thanks*. One other person mentioned it as well. Otherwise, my real life friends haven’t noticed the comment or didn’t want to get in the fray. I did get a supportive comment from another adoptive parent that I met through blogging (thanks Amber). Hmmm… sounds like I wanted people to take sides. Ok, I did! But then…I listened to an awesome song by Sovereign Grace about being forgiven by God. So I posted that instead in my response comment – and felt fine about it and not angry at anonymous. (Praise God)

However, I am curious about what anonymous says. Is this something that people I actually know and love think? As far as traveling to Ethiopia – that is something in adoption forums that is discussed alot. We prayed and discussed the option and are fine with the decision we made. It was not a decision for anonymous to make and so I don’t really care about that part of her comment, even though she felt I should be ashamed. But the other part of her comment is what I wonder about. How many african american people would be enough to make Ezra feel like he’s part of our church? What if there are only 6 not 7 or 20 not 30? Is the color of our skin the only thing that establishes a kinship with each other. If we take it to a smaller scale – should Ezra feel like a black sheep in our family? Of course not!!!! In our church? In our community? Ezra is already loved and accepted and supported by members of our family, church and community.

Ezra was placed in our family by God and God will enable and provide the fellowship he needs. We will teach him that his identity is in Christ. We will also seek to provide him with experiences and relationships with a variety of other people – men and women, young and old, black and white, believers and unbelievers. Our hope is that Ruth, Daniel and Ezra will have a global and eternal perspective that looks to a Sovereign God for all assurance, guidance and glory.

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